Pull'm Up, Cover'm Up, Bring'm Down!

 A few months ago I ran across an article in our local neighborhood paper that struck me with its unique angle on a perplexing problem. We have lived in urban neighborhoods for most of our married lives, and this particular habit on the part of young males is admittedly something my generation would never have dreamed of, with our broad white belts and bellbottoms. Yes...I'm talking about the dreaded Droopy Pants Syndrome.

As part of the first Pull ‘Em Up campaign, the Take Charge Foundation program is leading a belt drive at 13 locations across the county where people can donate new or gently used belts that will be used to make students’ pants sit at their waists.

Take Charge Executive Director Jerrod Mustaf said the goal of the belt drive is to “modify the culture of young people who believe it’s cool to wear the pants that are sagging.” 

Now, when my boys were little, we occasionally had this problem because they tended not to develop a waist very early in life. A little 'plumber's crack' was always a lurking danger for them as they clambered up and down play equipment--but face it--that was kinda cute, right? Fat little bottoms--cheeky little things--

I digress. The "Pull'm Up" campaign in our local county has been collecting belts to distribute to young men who apparently cannot afford to buy a proper pair of suspenders for their oversize jeans. They don't have a lot of cash left over after laying out a couple hundred bucks for the newest Jordans, you know. OK, maybe the belt thing is just a symbol...but really--can you imagine the reaction from a teenager to having some old  guy or woman hand them a belt and beg them to "pull those pants up!" ? I don't know...it just seems to my feeble mind that the reason they do this is because

IT BUGS THE OLD PEOPLE!!

Personally, I'm just grateful they wear boxers under their pants, or things would be a whole lot scarier out there.

So--in honor of this Noble Drive to Improve Humanity, I set before you two new initiatives that I will  personally be heading up.

1. "Cover'm Up!"

It has come to my attention that many women (sadly, even from my own generation) cannot seem to afford enough material to cover their 'womanly assets' on top, if you catch my drift. The tragedy of over-filled blouses is causing me great pain, and I am hoping to be able to fill some of this need by taking up a collection of dickeys (remember them? anybody??). I feel every woman should have access to quality dickeys (mock turtlenecks, polo collars, etc.) and use them whenever the circumstances demand MORE MATERIAL.


Also acceptable is a nice lace handkerchief safety-pinned discreetly in place.





2. "Bring'm Down!"

My heart is heavy for the multitudes of young women who are so destitute that they are unable to afford dresses long enough to cover their posterior regions. Will you join with me in a heart-felt drive to give these poor children several inches of material that they can attach to the bottom edges of their insubstantial skirts? The thermal chills experienced by these dear waifs is unimaginable to those of us with our generous clothing allowances. Will you help? Will you personally take charge of one of these young, sweet things and volunteer to sew on 3 or 4 inches of life-saving cotton blend? Your intervention could save a life.



Please don't think of me as a hero. I'm just an everyday citizen who cares. Will you join me in my fight for a Warmer America,? When all of us pull together, we can raise (and lower) great things!