Yoga, Anyone?

I know some of you may not have believed me in my last post when I said we had a DVD called "Yoga Booty Ballet" on our sales inventory for our home business. Well, I've got news for you. There's enough Yoga out there to float a ship full of old hippies. It's not like I'm unaware of this phenomenon--I even flirted briefly with a DVD program called "An Invitation to Christian Yoga" (I was looking for some stress relief at the time...nothing new for me...). It was a valiant effort, but one of the downsides of living in a house/warehouse is that I think I have approximately 12 square inches of floor space left in each room. "Saluting the Sun" resulted in swollen knuckles from whacking various boxes, dressers, end tables and bed frames.

It's so tight in our bedroom right now I recently fell out of bed in the middle of the night and got stuck like a turtle on my back between the shelves and the mattress. "Carl! Help!! I've fallen, and I can't get up!" He didn't let me forget that one for a while.

Anyway, we have enough exercise routine DVDs around the house to train a Spartan army, but there's no way in God's green earth I can do anything except walk on my treadmill (the space is reserved--books are not allowed on the treadmill belt). And I have yet to see a Yoga Treadmill DVD. Here is a real live list of some of the Yoga disc variations that have come across our path:

You've got your "mommy yoga...."

Bend, Breathe, and Conceive: Fertility Yoga
Yoga Kids
Baby and Mom Post-Natal Yoga
ZenMama with Rainbeau Mars: Prenatal Yoga Workout
Itsy Bitsy Yoga: Poses to Help Your Baby Sleep Longer, Digest Better, and Grow Stronger

Your "body part yoga..."

Yoga for a Healthy Back
Sarah Ivanhoe's 20 Minute Yoga--Flat Abs/Sculpted Buns and Thighs
Yoga Buns: The Complete Workout to Strengthen, Lengthen and Tone Your Body
Yoga for Your Eyes
Yoga for Your Hands

And your "really cool yoga..."

Kundalini Yoga Flow Bootcamp
Iron Yoga
HeavyWeight Yoga 2: Change the Image of Yoga
Yoga Booty Ballet 2-Disc Set: Light & Easy / Latin Flavor
Power Yoga for Happiness 2: The Surf Edition
Yoga Zone Power Yoga
Yoga Dance Fusion
Crunch - Candlelight Yoga
Hot Yoga

Then there are the few videos I might possibly even THINK about attempting:

Yoga for Equestrians: A New Path for Achieving Union with the Horse
Yoga For Inflexible People
Yoga in Bed: 20 Asanas to do in Pajamas

Yeah! Bed exercise!

I don't know. I guess Yoga just brings back incredibly painful memories of Junior High gym class. That teacher is still lurking out there somewhere, I'm sure; a woman in her 70's who is probably sitting cross-legged on floors and liking it. Mrs. P, I'll call her...the evil Gymnastics Witch. I suppose my memories are just slightly flawed, but I really believe that we never did anything except uneven bars, balance beams, tumbling and floor routines. Anything that involved humiliating a 5 foot 11 inch 7th grader with the flexibility of Pinocchio. Although I suppose even  Pinocchio might be able to put his legs behind his head...